Those who have shared words of encouragement and faith have done so from a heart of love and support, I know this, and I am very appreciative. Some have felt my reticence to accept such advice and guidance, but I assure you that your every word is included in the process of my life. I often speak (or write) words that I have great conviction for, although that of course doesn’t mean I am always right.
I ask your patience. The few of those who find it in their hearts to dialogue with me know I am in a great struggle.
You may have been subjected to my anger, and sensed my great despair. Some have taken my words and been personally insulted and offended, for that I am deeply sorry.
I am finding my way through the outer limits of my being, dissecting my spirituality, and my heart is feeling things I haven’t allowed to penetrate it in many, many years.
My brain is a bubbling pot of everything I have been through, and while it simmers, there is a drawing off of the things which hurt, kill, and have destroyed my peace. In this messy process I make good decisions and bad ones because clarity isn’t entirely available yet.
I have been open about my life; the childhood sexual abuse I suffered, my battle with addiction, many relationship issues, long time depression, multiple moral failures, all of it. I don’t speak as an authority to put others down, but as a man with great, though sometimes misguided ideas.
Please, accept my sincerest of apologies, and know that I am in the fight of my life. I haven’t given up and I haven’t given in. I will fight on and continue seeking, the words you speak to me are not falling on deaf ears.
Bless you, and have a great day!