There is a place for anger, to question establishment and to be vocal and want answers. However, there is a need and desire deep in my soul for more than that alone. I want to find peace in my storm, grace for others, empathy for the less fortunate, and discover joy that has eluded me.
Can I be a finder of these things in the place I have been these last few months? That is what I am asking myself and also you today. Yes, I have vented my anger exhaustively, but like the purported stages of grief, I don’t want that to be my final resting place.
I don’t want to be known as the angry guy fighting perceived and real injustice. It isn’t that I care what others think, its just that I don’t want to stay there. Its great to have a cause and relentlessly fight for it, conviction and action blended together are a powerful combination for change, but there must be more.
I feel a moving in my soul, a softening if you will, that is calling me to go beyond my expressions to this point.
I believe the passions that keep our fires going will always have an element of deep, visible and demonstrative conviction. When we speak or act on behalf of the things we consider are part of our DNA, we will do it in a way that people readily recognize. You just can’t hide a driven persons goals very easily, it comes out in everything they say, do and are. It should be no other way.
People that have accomplished what they set out to do, rarely do it by accident. There is a goal and a long journey, several stages, a few failures, evident growth, eventual successes, and so on. When a life pursuit rises from an injustice, it will have a few diversions to negotiate.
- The emotions that fuel ones drive may become an explosion that can literally destroy the pursuit entirely. That has been witnessed many times throughout world history.
- There is also the solitude of birthing this cause, you will feel alone and few will understand the depth of passion you feel.
- Then there is the exhaustion that will inevitably overtake you at some point, you will question the sanity of what you are doing.
All true, with a few more added in, but all necessary in order to see that pursuit to its fullest potential.
Where are you in the passionate pursuit’s of your life? We all desire to make a difference of some kind, but often feel it is beyond our ability to contribute substantially in a significant way.
I had someone tell me the other day, and I am paraphrasing this, that they “understood the anger I had, and that it was a part of processing my life.” It was refreshing to hear the voice of someone who has taken the time to know me, actually understand me.
I want to be known differently than you may have perceived my motives these last few months. Like a moth becomes a butterfly, I desire to emerge wiser, less negative, but no less driven in pursuit of justice for those who deserve it. I will not relent in my pursuit of a church who must become fully compassionate about the lives of all broken people.
Can I do this in a loving, gentle way, that draws and doesn’t repel people to my approach? Can we all pursue our passions that same way?
I intend to find out.