A lonely person will make very poor choices when desperate for any sort of intimacy.
Combine the loneliness with an inferiority complex and it becomes dangerous.
Add to that a fear of intimacy and get ready for certain disaster.
I am replaying in my mind the many situations in which I exemplified what not to do in personal relationships. No excuses for the wrong I have done, but there are significant reasons for my many meltdowns.
I am sick and tired of Christian’s saying “When you reach the age of accountability you are responsible for your actions.” These same Christians ignored abuse, and then discarded the broken man.
A child sexually abused for years, and left to cope on his own is nothing but a recipe for disaster.
Today, I had the day off and was watching Kill Bill 1 and 2. These movies contain a magnificent plethora of killing and dismemberment, primarily with martial arts and samurai swords. But nestled in amongst the carnage was a message which I heard loud and clear.
It was during a point at which Uma Thurman had the opportunity to learn from a great and aged master. She was instructed not to show the slightest bit of pride, arrogance or rebellion. Her training was cruel and relentless. Though exhausted and in tremendous pain she pushed through, listened and obeyed and finished what she started. Later, during a life and death situation she recalled her training and it saved her life.
It’s hard to submit to another if there is not one fiber within you that trusts another person. That lack of trust, when instilled at a young age is often impossible to overcome. I know this to be true. I have taken many significant relationships and destroyed them one after another. I have taken the blame, the penalties and the shame upon myself for most of my life.
I never found my sensei, I didn’t learn anything, and I am filled with shame and regret. That is how the story will end. It always will unless people like you actually do something about it when abuse comes to light. Don’t just be angered by the news, be spurred to action and help the wounded get justice.
If you merely want everyone to get along, to forgive and forget…please do not call yourself a Christian. God is a God of justice for all men. Why should the exploited pay their whole life while the perpetrator is instantly forgiven?
I start every blog with a simple thought….funny how they morph into this every time.