Any bold declarations I make are shot down by the reality of depression.
I want to do something worthwhile but I just get destroyed so quickly, drained of motivation and purpose.
I have a song I’ve written so I spent an hour this morning trying to put together a decent sound. I quickly realized that due to our financial problems over the last few months I had purged any gear that would allow me to do that.
My guild and Taylor acoustics, my Gretsch hollow body, microphones, monitors and amps. Now I am left with a $100 acoustic that wont stay in tune, and a $20 mike, yeah…I let it all go.
What is the damn point anymore? Whats the point of anything? My life is shit, my days are spent in perpetual darkness. I am running out of reasons to get up every day.
PS. just a side note: Why do law enforcement and medical personnel tell jokes to each other and laugh and smile at the scene of horrific crimes and accidents? It pisses me off, I feel as If it isn’t serious to them. Maybe they are just coping but to hear a damn police officer laughing at the scene when people have died just strikes me a weird way.
It makes me think life isn’t precious. Wait, confirms it actually.