I Made It

I made it through another day. Well, there is still another hour and fifty-six minutes. How can I sum up this day…hmm, surprising? Uneventful? Blasé? All of those.

Probably the most interesting thing was a contact from someone I once knew. In fact the last time I heard from him he said he wanted to “punch me in the gut.” The surprising thing about today was his eagerness to encourage me. It had been 3 years or a little more since the threat of physical violence. And then that.

People are funny aren’t they? I mean, I include myself in the bunch too. Not sure what to think about this, so that ones gonna stay status quo for now.

Friends I guess are the ones who don’t drop off the face of the earth when you mess up, fail, or make a wrong turn. They’re the ones who stick with you. Hell, even my own brothers haven’t done that. Admittedly, I have shut them out at times also.

I am leery of the pop-back-in-the-picture-people. It is hard to trust. It’s hard to let go of the pain you’ve suffered while they were conveniently absent and silent. I am a mixture of contradictions and confusion, this much I do know.

I have just begun the journey through this psychiatric treatment after decades of being alone. From the abuse to the abandonment and judgement, all the scrutiny I have been subjected to by people having no business throwing the book at me.

Yeah, I am gonna take this real slow.

 

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