There is something very important I need to say to my fellow survivors today. This following a harrowing 6 months of uncertainty, suicidal ideations, exhaustion, fear, and disbelief that I would ever come out the other side at all sane.
There is hope for all of us! I am living proof that you can sink almost to the gates of hell and still survive, and more.
Friday is my return to work and I can say I am looking forward to it. Months ago I didn’t know if I could ever work again, I was contemplating ending my own life on a daily basis. Wallowing in a pool of despair was my mood. A series of horrible choices had left me bankrupt of any reason to live.
Between out-patient treatment in a psychiatric hospital, therapy, psychiatric care and a fistful of medications the landscape began to slowly brighten. The dark nightmares and voices I had heard in the night were quieted. It was so gradual I could barely perceive when the turnaround began to take place.
Here is the kicker, it is important that you never give up! I saw therapists years ago as well as a psychiatrist but for me it took unplugging from life and prioritizing my health and recovery. Maybe that’s what you need, nothing is as important as getting yourself right!
Am I home free? No. I must continue treatment, taking my meds and focusing on the positive. I know that is what will get you beyond the place you cannot even envision right now.