I was thinking about how music for me has been pushed into the background. It’s on the radar but not much. I have people encouraging me to write, play my instruments. Then it hit me…
Music, as with anything arts related is about putting yourself out there. It takes some major nerve to create and then being willing to receive negative or no positive returns on your investment. I am not swimming in confidence, that’s for sure. So I am not willing to risk the consequences. I don’t feel I have anything to give. My life has been in a place of retreat, hiding from the world, not boldly taking it by storm.
Music has been a major and driving part of my life since I first picked up a violin in the 5th grade. Now it is a shriveled up flower that has died.
Mental illness has taken the forefront and nothing else is getting through this heavy, stifling curtain. Time ticks away week after week along with any ability to once again pursue what once was my passion.