It’s a challenge dealing with mental illness on every level and at all times. Some days you feel fortunate and then others cursed. Today is a little of both.
I had the opportunity to see an old acquaintance from a former employer, it was fun and refreshing, talking shop and catching up. I felt connected for a change. Then I call a local psychiatric firm to check on getting a mental evaluation. No dice, a minimum $1000 and not covered by insurance.
So I am back to pleading with my psychiatrist to allow me more time off so I can work on these issues of anxiety and panic. Nothing is moving, I am not getting paid and so that’ll only keep for so long.
I am very thankful for the fact Susan works so hard at her job, it has saved us from complete ruin.
Trying to focus on the positives and leave a laundry list of mistakes behind. It’s not easy to do that when you have so many to live down. Thats where I have to make a choice because I cannot live them all down. Some have branded me and some have seared my conscience. Staying in the moment and living that way helps sometimes. Not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Making decisions minute by minute while fully focused on them and their possible outcomes.
That pretty much sums it up, live in the moment and see the positives.