Continuation

Today, it’s just another day in life, roughly 21,353 days of living. When I see that number I am disheartened. When you subtract working, sleeping, being a child etcetera it takes away from that number significantly.  I come up with 2,522 days of total freedom in 58 years. Thats only 44+ 24 hour periods to do something that matters per year. OK, subtract all the times spent socially, church, eating, volunteering, household projects and I don’t even wanna see that number.

So let me ask you, what have you accomplished? I already know my answer, pretty much nothing. I’ve spent the majority of my days in a depressed, bipolar, anxiety, ptsd filled stupor. Not an excuse, just the truth,

Today I am fighting the desire to waste another day in a numb state of being. I have to believe there is more, somehow find the fight and drive to pick myself up. It’s just not there. I’m tired, exhausted really, fearful, that this is all there is.

Now it’s raining and I am further plunged into darkness. I think I will just sit here and count off the minutes until tomorrow begins and do it all again.

Yeah, check off another one and alwaysRISEalways!

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