Understanding

The process of negotiating the labyrinth of depression, bipolar, anxiety and PTSD is fraught with danger. Not all of them are readily visible as inherently dangerous, but they all are. I was thinking of a few of them today.

  • Knowing myself
  • Fighting for myself
  • Being understood by those close to me
  • Helping shape the worlds perception of me
  • Taking my therapy sessions seriously
  • Knowing it takes as long as it takes
  • Giving myself a break in expectations
  • Realize it is a wholly different world for me
  • Learning to rest

Danger exists in all these things, for if they aren’t bucking current and entrenched trends they are digging deep into a murky past. Everyday I face a new battle with myself. My mental strength wanes easily, and where the mind goes the body follows. If my thinking becomes stifled, then I will be limited in my accomplishments.

The most looming danger I face is a mind erosion. It is simply believing that I can actually be better than I am. It is 40+ years of learning the wrong way and now trying to reprogram. Thats tough, and I am old. My propensity is to give up quickly out of the exhaustion of my mind. It isn’t strong in any sense, but flabby and out of shape.

So I am understanding the dangers and this will help me find solutions to my long-standing problems. This is why somedays I feel like living is pointless, while other days I feel mighty, with everything in-between.

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