The process of negotiating the labyrinth of depression, bipolar, anxiety and PTSD is fraught with danger. Not all of them are readily visible as inherently dangerous, but they all are. I was thinking of a few of them today.
- Knowing myself
- Fighting for myself
- Being understood by those close to me
- Helping shape the worlds perception of me
- Taking my therapy sessions seriously
- Knowing it takes as long as it takes
- Giving myself a break in expectations
- Realize it is a wholly different world for me
- Learning to rest
Danger exists in all these things, for if they aren’t bucking current and entrenched trends they are digging deep into a murky past. Everyday I face a new battle with myself. My mental strength wanes easily, and where the mind goes the body follows. If my thinking becomes stifled, then I will be limited in my accomplishments.
The most looming danger I face is a mind erosion. It is simply believing that I can actually be better than I am. It is 40+ years of learning the wrong way and now trying to reprogram. Thats tough, and I am old. My propensity is to give up quickly out of the exhaustion of my mind. It isn’t strong in any sense, but flabby and out of shape.
So I am understanding the dangers and this will help me find solutions to my long-standing problems. This is why somedays I feel like living is pointless, while other days I feel mighty, with everything in-between.