I face a major Dilemma, what to do next.
Having spent the last 10 months in and out of treatment, struggling with suicidal ideation, depression, bipolar disorder, ptsd and anxiety, where do I go from here?
One thing I know is that I am my best advocate. Not my psychiatrist, not my therapist, not even my wife, I must fight for every day and every breath. When they said go back to work, I did twice, and twice it has lasted no more than 48 hours. I am a beehive in the head with my thoughts, depression is kicking my ass, and all the while I have to try and function. It isn’t working.
I am coming up on another session with my psychiatrist, he believes meds make me fine, I say they are only a small part of the bigger picture. If he insists I am fine I will be looking for another one.
News flash!!! I am going to stand up for myself like never before! Come against me and watch the fur fly!
I am about 7 years from retirement, unless I retire early then its 2. I have carried this my whole life and worked and functioned and persevered but no more sacrificing my fleeting time. It’s my time now and on my timetable.
Step back, or there will be trouble.