Beneath the arguments for the reality of my mental illness, behind the cloak that protects my abuser, away from the religious environments that denied me justice, exists a toxic anger simmering constantly.
I am angry. I ….am ….. angry.
I fight a battle every day. I fight ignorance, apathy, acceptance, judgement, hate, condemnation, fear, blame, lies…every day. This battle is within me, I am the opponent. After I do that I fight the same things, in you and others.
I was thrown away. I was discarded,. The gift in me destroyed. The passion I had fully quenched. They walked away, forgot me, showed me the door, and never gave the grace they preach to the world. Not one person. They all lie on Sundays because they don’t live it to the least of these.
I am sick of liars who judge me. Who do you think you are?
I will not recover, life will never be the same. No one cares but they expect me to just give up. Screw you and the shit you hide behind. I will keep getting up, keep breathing, keep living until I don’t. The only one that will care in the end is God. Because it helps you live with yourself to forget I existed.