Let me for a moment borrow a term from the legal world to describe to you the life of someone who suffers abuse.
When someone stands trial for an offense of any sort there are things taken into consideration when sentencing, they are called mitigating circumstances. In short these are things that when considered may or may not give cause for actions, if not at least some reason for them. They often give justification to a reduction in sentences.
Those who have suffered abuse and struggle with or act out in any number of ways must be allowed these considerations. Whether you want to accept it or not. If you are the person who from a distance concludes that there can be some separation between what I will call cause and effect, you are categorically wrong, Sorry.
Those who have experienced any level of abusive treatment know of what I speak. Every single relationship, situation and circumstance is colored by the trauma. We don’t like it, often we don’t even recognize it, but it is there, always.
So my fellow abused friends, cut yourself some slack, you have a had a terrible thing done to you and it is part of everything you are and do. To my friends who are not on the inside looking out, have some grace and understanding for others.