When you write and ramble on like I do it can muddy the perceptions of what you are trying to say. I admit to being all over the board but thats just me dealing with stuff day to day on my journey. I felt it was time to clarify some things.
- I don’t blame God entirely for my life~Some seem to think I blame God for everything that has happened to me or that I have done. Not so, though I do have questions needing answers that haven’t found their way to Gods ears it would seem. I would say that it’s more about God’s absenteeism than purposeful punishment. I have made many mistakes, which I have documented in my blog, I know I am a fallen man. It’s that I pursued Gods will and ways for soo long and I am to blame. Not the church, not the people who comprise the church, and certainly not God. If I suffered sexual abuse as a child I would say I have also been spiritually abused by the church.
- I take responsibility for my life~ My choices, my decisions are solely my responsibility.
- This is my journal~I write, when I write, from my perceptions of myself and the world around me. I don’t delve into the spiritual much because thats not where I am. So too think I am always blaming God is incorrect. I merely have stepped away from what hasn’t worked in my life. This journal is me without avfilter and as real as I can get.
It’s easy to read between the lines of what I just wrote and find contradiction. Life is just that so why wouldn’t it come out in my writings?
I have had input that I am spiritually bereft and thats why I suffer mental illness. How can I even say how wrong and simplistic that is. Christians think everything is a spiritual problem, I am sorry to say thats not so. Thats part of why I have distanced myself from their company. It just isn’t true. I don’t blame them for thinking it, thats what they are taught.
I apologize for the random points and unintelligible nonsence, Thanks for taking a moment to hear me out.