I realized something today when it comes to dealing with mental illness. I have been trying to remain and appear normal in every way. I haven’t been dealing with the issue, at all. I make every appointment, every call, every last detail I am on top of. I have been expending all the energy I possess and it has left nothing for dealing with the problem at hand.
My therapy is going nowhere, my psychiatrist doesn’t even think I am disabled. Everything that brought me to a place of non-functioning is still un-dealt with. For all intents and purposes I am a fully functioning humanoid.
So a conscious decision is being made to get rid of the fluff and bring it ultra real. I have a new psychiatrist and might be changing therapists. I might even have to write less here. It’s time to face whatever is in store head on without a safety net or helmet for protection. here goes, again.