Self-Destruct

I have let myself and everyone else down. With my latest troubles trying to get treatment I feel like its what I have done wrong to mess things up. In a sense it’s me thinking I have sabotaged my own mental illness.

How else can I explain what has been happening? I am so frustrated right now and on top of that, feeling responsible for it too. Whats going on? I am confused. I received a diagnosis that makes total sense for everything I struggle with and then it backfires.

I am standing my ground, but not real confidently. It’s for the principle of the thing.  Maybe I am crazy but in all the wrong ways. I just don’t know anymore.

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