There’s nothing quite so precious as being able to rest. To relax free of the pangs of missed opportunities, pressure that is self induced, and feeling peace through and through.
I am not quite there yet.
I have always put a lot of pressure on myself, it has been misplaced though. Expectations that I carried to achieve something or to be someone I wasn’t and really could not be. Thats just lead to disappointment and regret. Disappointment for not reaching a goal and regret that you even wasted the time at all.
I set lofty goals at one time, however they were beyond my reach and unsustainable.
So for example, this morning I am relaxing free (almost) of guilt. I actually verbalized it because anxiety wants to arrest me and cause me to worry. This is not to say there aren’t things to be concerned about but its putting them in the realms of attainability and dare I say logic.
Theres a time to place concern in the forefront, theres a time. That means there is also time apart from pressure and planning and worry.
The time I have spent away from the world these last few months were regrettably filled with worry, anxiety and fear. I am choosing to make a change. I have a few hours to myself so I will relax and appreciate what I have. I see my therapist today and have to get some scripts straightened out at the pharmacy. I need to iron a shirt for my early shift tomorrow. Thats it.
Pardon me if I kick back and relax for a bit.