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The Place to be Real

The Place to be Real

My online personal journal

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Author: therippleeffect70x7

I am confused and wandering. After trying to serve God for most of my life I have found this hollow and shallow existence isn’t enough anymore. I have written of spiritual things, and also questioned the very existence of God; it is a natural thing for all of us to do. I am hoping that at some point I will discover the simple peace of daily living that has eluded me. I will always be searching for more. Chris
August 3, 2020August 4, 2020therippleeffect70x7

Pause Button

I am in the middle of a two week leave of absence from work. I needed a break from everything, I work in grocery. I was getting very angry with customers not complying with mask regulations. Due to the virus I was spending two to three hours a day outside, cleaning and sanitizing carts. I […]

Continue Reading "Pause Button"
July 26, 2020July 26, 2020therippleeffect70x7

The Big 60

I am trying to figure out why I have a lack of motivation to improve myself, set goals, etc. Is it the meds used to calm my bipolar swings? It seems so. I have always gotten up when knocked down, every time. Until now. I think its the meds plus being 60 and pretty darn […]

Continue Reading "The Big 60"
July 13, 2020July 13, 2020therippleeffect70x7

Summer Fantasy

Things have settled into a steady pace now. My medications seem to be working their magic by keeping me stable and sane. No great expectations but conversely no deep depression. It feels like the best things could possibly be. Maybe its just a beautiful summers day that helps. Maybe it is spending less time thinking […]

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June 22, 2020therippleeffect70x7

Self-care Deficiencies

One of the byproducts of childhood sexual abuse is the self-care piece. It’s paying attention to and investing in good health and practices. I am legendary for not taking care of myself, whether its minding what I eat and drink to simple health maintenance. Today I am living with a very specific issue and that […]

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June 19, 2020June 19, 2020therippleeffect70x7

The Latest News Cycle

This year has two stories that have consumed the media, Coronavirus and George Floyd. Important, yes, but deserving of all the attention, no. You see, when you make something THE story you ignore many other important topics. For me it is childhood sexual abuse. This is an anathema for me that it goes unreported and […]

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June 14, 2020therippleeffect70x7

Long-Term Depression

It saps you of the strength to accomplish anything. Let alone get up off your back and try. I don’t have the ability to say more, I am exhausted.

Continue Reading "Long-Term Depression"
June 9, 2020June 9, 2020therippleeffect70x7

The Stuff

I am surrounded by things I have put value on. My guitars, my stereo and records, my clothes, my electronics, all of it. Like you, I know that these things don’t provide anything tangible in the way of lasting joy, peace, satisfaction, and security. Yet I pile them up in a vain attempt to fill voids, […]

Continue Reading "The Stuff"
June 3, 2020June 3, 2020therippleeffect70x7

Searching for…

Relevance. In a world that goes from disaster to calamity to outrage how can we as simple individuals find relevance? In isolation there is a degree of safety but along with that is a distinct lack of connection. My connections are severely limited, but in closer proximity to people I have found misunderstanding, offense, ambivalence. […]

Continue Reading "Searching for…"
May 31, 2020May 31, 2020therippleeffect70x7

Don’t Wanna Feel

I have never abused drugs or alcohol and never intend too, but I sure would like to medicate these feelings away. If I had some positive thoughts it would be nice, something to look forward to but I don’t. My life is pretty much behind me now. Maybe I should look at it like that…whats […]

Continue Reading "Don’t Wanna Feel"

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Recent Posts

  • Been Awhile December 7, 2020
  • Confused November 27, 2020
  • Feedback Received September 19, 2020
  • I Can’t Believe September 11, 2020
  • Understanding Depression August 30, 2020
  • I Should Have Been Aborted August 23, 2020
  • Today August 18, 2020
  • Civil Tone Please? August 13, 2020
  • I Had a Dream August 6, 2020
  • Pause Button August 3, 2020
  • The Big 60 July 26, 2020
  • Summer Fantasy July 13, 2020
  • Self-care Deficiencies June 22, 2020
  • The Latest News Cycle June 19, 2020
  • Long-Term Depression June 14, 2020
  • The Stuff June 9, 2020
  • Searching for… June 3, 2020
  • Don’t Wanna Feel May 31, 2020
  • It is This Month May 24, 2020
  • Slipping into Neutral May 18, 2020
  • Course Correction May 11, 2020
  • A Day in my Drama of Life May 8, 2020
  • My Thoughts of a Pandemic World April 20, 2020
  • Psalm 51 Lifestyle March 22, 2020
  • Your Opinion Needed! March 3, 2020
  • Why Aren’t They New? February 26, 2020
  • Is Transparency a Weakness? February 24, 2020
  • In the Meantime February 24, 2020
  • Directional Recalibration February 18, 2020
  • Turning the Corner February 13, 2020
  • Functioning with Mental disease February 11, 2020
  • Justice, Judgement, Mercy and Forgiveness February 10, 2020
  • Another shelf February 3, 2020
  • Keep Waiting January 25, 2020
  • Time to hit the Starting Blocks January 15, 2020
  • Subsistence: My Mental Health Journey January 13, 2020
  • Special Thanks To You January 12, 2020
  • Maintenance Day Song Lyrics January 8, 2020
  • Maintenance Days January 7, 2020
  • New Year, New Hope? December 31, 2019
  • Christmas Realities December 24, 2019
  • The River December 18, 2019
  • Grrr. December 17, 2019
  • Emergence December 10, 2019
  • Songs That Speak The Truth December 6, 2019
  • Is There Something I should Be Doing? December 3, 2019
  • A Meaningful Life November 28, 2019
  • It Takes as Long as it Takes November 23, 2019
  • You? I? November 11, 2019
  • Why is it…? November 11, 2019
  • Split Seconds November 11, 2019
  • Guilt-free Relaxation November 6, 2019
  • When You’re Tired of Running October 29, 2019
  • Seclusion October 24, 2019
  • Stand Still October 18, 2019
  • In The Shadows October 17, 2019
  • Fading Into Oblivion October 11, 2019
  • Lost My Motivation October 4, 2019
  • Pardon my Faux Pas September 30, 2019
  • Returning to a Civilized Existence September 30, 2019
  • The Art of the Deposition September 28, 2019
  • Coming to a Close September 24, 2019
  • The Burden September 23, 2019
  • Words September 22, 2019
  • Self-Destruct September 21, 2019
  • My Flaw to this Point September 20, 2019
  • The Failure of the Mental Health System September 19, 2019
  • It Went Sideways September 18, 2019
  • I am Sad Today September 16, 2019
  • Mental Health Documentary September 16, 2019
  • It’s Important to Clarify Some Things September 13, 2019
  • The Music was Silenced September 12, 2019
  • The Memorial that Moves Forward September 11, 2019
  • Anxiety at Any Time September 11, 2019
  • Lets Briefly Talk about Suicide September 9, 2019
  • The Beginning of the Journey September 9, 2019
  • The Unknown September 7, 2019
  • Update #…I don’t Know! September 6, 2019
  • Hope of Life September 4, 2019
  • Back in the Saddle September 2, 2019
  • Update August 30, 2019
  • Depression Isolates You August 27, 2019
  • When Depression Descends August 27, 2019
  • Too Many Chances? August 26, 2019
  • The Core August 25, 2019
  • Existentialimits August 23, 2019
  • My (our) New Normal August 22, 2019
  • A Very Important Thank You August 21, 2019
  • Whom am I Trying to Convince? August 21, 2019
  • Mitigating Circumstances August 21, 2019
  • Backed into a Corner August 20, 2019
  • The Financial Side of Mental Illness August 17, 2019
  • What it Feels Like August 16, 2019
  • A Look into the Mind of Mental Illness August 16, 2019
  • So Now You’re The Judge? August 14, 2019
  • An Emotional Moment August 12, 2019
  • The American So-Called Dream August 9, 2019
  • Rebuilding That Junker August 7, 2019
  • Read This Article, Excellent! August 5, 2019
  • Hell Yes I am Angry August 5, 2019
  • Mental Illness is Real! August 5, 2019
  • There is a Road that Leads too… August 4, 2019
  • The Consistency of Inconsistency August 3, 2019
  • A Series of Unrelated Thoughts-my Apologies in Advance! August 1, 2019
  • Paranoia Kills August 1, 2019
  • No August 1, 2019
  • Airport Therapy July 31, 2019
  • 267.5 July 30, 2019
  • 30% July 30, 2019
  • Am I Entertaining You? July 29, 2019
  • Living Inside a Bubble July 29, 2019
  • The Nagging Feeling July 28, 2019
  • Euroclydon July 26, 2019
  • Flying July 26, 2019
  • News Flash! July 25, 2019
  • You Stole My Love July 25, 2019
  • In Your Neighborhood July 25, 2019
  • Wrapping Up July 23, 2019
  • In the Balance July 19, 2019
  • Back in for Treatment July 16, 2019
  • Justifying Mental Disease July 16, 2019
  • What’s The Point? July 12, 2019
  • Ever-present July 8, 2019
  • Sorry, but No Forgiveness For You! July 8, 2019
  • Choose Wisely, Grasshopper July 1, 2019
  • We Are Many July 1, 2019
  • the rip[ple] effect June 27, 2019
  • Unexplainable June 26, 2019
  • This is No Life June 25, 2019
  • There’s Nothing Worse June 24, 2019
  • A Little Something for the Drama Free Crowd June 22, 2019
  • I am Not a failure, but that doesn’t Make me OK June 21, 2019
  • Can you Comprehend an Entire Life? June 18, 2019
  • When You’re Right June 18, 2019
  • Understanding June 17, 2019
  • Conflicted June 14, 2019
  • Betrayal, the Gift that Keeps on Giving June 13, 2019
  • Not inherently Positive June 13, 2019
  • Continuation June 13, 2019
  • Maine becomes 8th state to legalize assisted suicide June 12, 2019
  • I Shoulda Stopped Chewing on those Guitar Knobs June 12, 2019
  • Why I Left The Church June 12, 2019
  • Al Mohler: The Humiliation of the Southern Baptist Convention June 12, 2019
  • Southern Baptists meet; endorse steps against sex abuse June 12, 2019
  • Living in the Age of Feelings June 11, 2019
  • In The Moment June 10, 2019
  • Cadet’s rape conviction reversal panned by victim advocates June 8, 2019
  • Petra only got half way There June 7, 2019
  • Thankful for… June 5, 2019
  • When it all Falls Apart June 5, 2019

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