It’s weird, I feel like I am going into another phase of life. It began when I looked at my neck chain last night and it hit me, I don’t need this crap anymore. I am detaching myself from the life I once thought I would have. While doing this though, It feels as if I am less alive. I am not sure what it’s about. My moods are becoming more somber and it is getting far more difficult to play along and be “happy.”
My body just hurts, uncomfortable in this physical form day by day. I find my hours slipping away and my consciousness not being aware of what has taken place. I awake and then its night and its all a blank. I want to make plans and set goals but it’s really tough to get up my motivation anymore. Then this…
I was thinking today that there needs to be a radio program that exists solely to help people talk about and process their abusive pasts. Provide resources and help, a listening ear and empathy. There are political shows everywhere, shows that deal with race, sports, decorating, finances, pets, and a few hundred more. We need a national program accessible by whoever has the need. Maybe there is one I have never heard of, and if that’s the case, what good is it?
I feel like I should possibly look into getting something like that rolling. I have been writing and writing and getting nowhere. I need to think bigger, outside the box, beyond my past and its limited scope. If I don’t I am afraid that I will make a choice that will once and for all cancel any possible plans.
Oh another thing, I had some med adjustments that helped my nausea and headaches. It seems that was temporary as those symptoms have returned.
Ok then, time to do my daily chores, have a good day!